Freshman Composition: Visualizing an 80/20 Argument

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Visualizing an 80/20 Argument

Do You Want to See What an 80/20 Argument looks Like?

While your paragraphs will not necessarily be this long in your argument writings, this is a good example of how to move writing from a 60/40 argument spread to an 80/20 argument spread.

In this section of an article written by Norman Ream, there is about a 60/40 spread on the author speaking (60%) and then supporting the argument with source materials in about 40% of this writing. As you know, it is best to have a minimum of a 75/25 spread (75% author / 25% sources), and the best is the 80/20 spread (80% author / 20% sources). You want your argument to dominate most of the writing. You want the reader to clearly hear your voice as you assert your argument and analyze the sources that support it.

To turn this writing from 60/40 spread to an 80/20 spread, you simply evaluate the source content after it is used, and before moving on to your next supporting point. This could easily be remedied by the writer taking a little more time in between strategic argument points to reflect on the previous quote and assess the importance of the person holding this belief. After all, you want to move slowly through your argument, giving each point a moment to shine, be analyzed, and be reasserted before moving on to the next key point. Otherwise, the reading will feel rushed—as it sometimes does below. There are 2 good writing techniques occurring here, though:

1. The writer began by writing in his own words for three sentences before providing source support.

2. For every arguable assertion he made in his paragraph, he followed it with a strategically compelling source-support to prove the argument point.

Below you will find three versions of this section of Ream’s article.

The first version is where his argument and the sources are highlighted. Yellow is the author stating his argument. Blue is the source support for the argument statement. By seeing this colored image, you will notice that there is more Ream than there is source material, but a little more reflective argument by Ream would have been even better.

The second version is where I have added in more argument and reflection to fill-out the writing. After reviewing Norman Ream’s original writing, see the modified version of this paragraph where I have added more argument content and explanation to sway the writing towards the 80/20 guideline. The revamped paragraph is altered in the areas where you see that the content is pink.

Finally, the third version is where I have turned the pink areas to yellow so that you could see what an 80/20 writing would look like. Please take the time read through these versions so that you can feel the content shift as I enrich the argument and take extra time for reflection on each sourced statement.

Original writing with about 60/40 content spread.

Religious Beliefs of the Founders

The most orthodox and ardent believer among the principal figures urging freedom from the constraints of England and King George III was Samuel Adams, who with other Sons of Liberty dumped the tea into Boston Harbor. A stern Calvinist, he believed liberty was dependent on the moral and spiritual principles enunciated in the New Testament. In a letter to John Scollay in 1776 he wrote,

Revelation assures us that Righteousness exalteth a nation—Communities are dealt with in this world by the wise and just Ruler of the Universe. He rewards or punishes them according to their general character. The diminution of public virtue is usually attended with that of public happiness, and the public liberty will not long survive the total extinction of morals.

At the other extreme, if it can be called extreme, was the deist Thomas Paine, whom Theodore Roosevelt is once said to have referred to as a “filthy little atheist.” In 1797, however, Paine started a movement in Paris to combat atheism. He did not believe in revelation nor did he believe the Bible was divinely inspired, but in the Prospect Papers, published in 1804 by Elihu Palmer, he wrote: “It is by the exercise of our reason that we are enabled to contemplate God in His works and imitate Him in His way. When we see His care and goodness extended over all His creatures, it teaches us our duty toward each other, while it calls forth our gratitude to Him.” The idea that many if not most of the Founding Fathers were atheists or agnostics is incorrect. Not only were they devoutly religious, but they firmly believed that liberty and justice depended on an observance of the moral and ethical demands of the Christian religion. Benjamin Franklin wrote to Ezra Stiles in 1790 that “As to Jesus of Nazareth, my opinion of whom you particularly desire, I think the system of morals and His religion, as he left them to us, the best the world ever saw or is likely to see . . . .” It was Franklin who urged the delegates to the Constitutional Convention to begin the sessions with prayer: “I have lived, Sir, a long time, and the longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth—that God governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without his aid?” Our first president, George Washington, rarely spoke of his religious beliefs but on one occasion wrote a letter to the Philadelphia-area clergy in which he stated his conviction that “Religion and morality are the essential pillars of Civil society . . . .” In his Farewell Address he declared, “Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, Religion and morality are indispensable supports.” When he took the oath of office in New York, Washington did so with his hand on the Bible and afterward bent down and kissed the book. Washington’s successor in office, John Adams, in an 1810 letter to Benjamin Rush wrote, “. . . religion and virtue are the only foundations, not only of republicanism and of all free government but of social felicity under all governments and in all the combinations of human society.” Alexander Hamilton believed it was man’s relationship to God that gave birth to man’s natural rights: “The Supreme Being . . . endowed him with rational faculties, by the help of which to discern and pursue such things as were consistent with an inviolable right to personal liberty and personal safety.” Thus did the Founding Fathers state in various ways their firm conviction that a nation desiring individual freedom and national prosperity must be guided by high standards of morality and ethics and that such a moral philosophy could only grow out of a strong religious faith.

You can easily see that Ream is in his own voice between each source usage; however, more argument and reflection would strengthen the argument and let the reader clearly hear Ream's logical argument as it unfolds. (See my modified version below)

Adjusted paragraph to include more argument and reflection.

Religious Beliefs of the Founders

While it is a common statement in the 21^st century to refute that the Founding Fathers held any religious beliefs, urging listeners to see this statement as a way to delegitimize religious involvement in political matters or even the community, it is simply not true. This religious thread can be easily researched and proven with little effort if one tries. The problem, though, lies in the fact that many young people today do not learn for themselves. They are conditioned to ‘re-tweet’ or ‘re-post’ views of others, not considering the validity in what they are parroting to those around them. When one reviews the annuls of history, the religious beliefs of the Founders can easily be seen. After all, The most orthodox and ardent believer among the principal figures urging freedom from the constraints of England and King George III was Samuel Adams, who with other Sons of Liberty dumped the tea into Boston Harbor. A stern Calvinist, he believed liberty was dependent on the moral and spiritual principles enunciated in the New Testament. In a letter to John Scollay in 1776 he wrote,

At the other extreme, if it can be called extreme, was the deist Thomas Paine, whom Theodore Roosevelt is once said to have referred to as a “filthy little atheist” because Paine believed that God created the universe; however, deists do not believe that God interferes with man. In 1797, however, Paine started a movement in Paris to combat atheism. He did not believe in revelation nor did he believe the Bible was divinely inspired, but in the Prospect Papers, published in 1804 by Elihu Palmer, he wrote: “It is by the exercise of our reason that we are enabled to contemplate God in His works and imitate Him in His way. When we see His care and goodness extended over all His creatures, it teaches us our duty toward each other, while it calls forth our gratitude to Him.” Statements such as this clearly identify even the most spiritually out-cast Founding Father as having focused religious views in regard to God’s necessary influence in human lives through example and reflection. The idea that many if not most of the Founding Fathers were atheists or agnostics is incorrect. Not only were they devoutly religious, but they firmly believed that liberty and justice depended on an observance of the moral and ethical demands of the Christian religion. Benjamin Franklin wrote to Ezra Stiles in 1790 that “As to Jesus of Nazareth, my opinion of whom you particularly desire, I think the system of morals and His religion, as he left them to us, the best the world ever saw or is likely to see . . . .” It was Franklin who urged the delegates to the Constitutional Convention to begin the sessions with prayer: “I have lived, Sir, a long time, and the longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth—that God governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without his aid?” Such memorable words from Founding Fathers must not be over-looked or ignored. It is these views that structured the freest country in the world. While no one argues that Franklin or any of the Founding Fathers were beyond reproach and often succumbed to sin, this does not discount the fact that godliness was a controlling factor in their view of how to properly structure a new country. Furthermore, Our first president, George Washington, rarely spoke of his religious beliefs but on one occasion wrote a letter to the Philadelphia-area clergy in which he stated his conviction that “Religion and morality are the essential pillars of Civil society . . . .” In his Farewell Address he declared, “Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, Religion and morality are indispensable supports.” When he took the oath of office in New York, Washington did so with his hand on the Bible and afterward bent down and kissed the book. Again, these are not the actions of men who put their faith only in themselves, their mental abilities, and their peers. These are the words and actions of men who felt God and wanted to please Him through a just and honest creation of this new country. Washington’s successor in office, John Adams, in an 1810 letter to Benjamin Rush wrote, “. . . religion and virtue are the only foundations, not only of republicanism and of all free government but of social felicity under all governments and in all the combinations of human society.” Alexander Hamilton believed it was man’s relationship to God that gave birth to man’s natural rights: “The Supreme Being . . . endowed him with rational faculties, by the help of which to discern and pursue such things as were consistent with an inviolable right to personal liberty and personal safety.” Thus did the Founding Fathers state in various ways their firm conviction that a nation desiring individual freedom and national prosperity must be guided by high standards of morality and ethics and that such a moral philosophy could only grow out of a strong religious faith.

Now take a look at the combined writing (with Ream's words and my enrichment all in yellow) to see what an 80/20 spread argument would look like. Be sure to read this version aloud and feel the difference between this one and the original version.

How the paragraph looks now with more author argument and reflection (pink has been changed to yellow as if this was Ream’s content).

Religious Beliefs of the Founders

While it is a common statement in the 21^st century to refute that the Founding Fathers held any religious beliefs, urging listeners to see this statement as a way to delegitimize religious involvement in political matters or even the community, it is simply not true. This religious thread can be easily researched and proven with little effort if one tries. The problem, though, lies in the fact that many young people today do not learn for themselves. They are conditioned to ‘re-tweet’ or ‘re-post’ views of others, not considering the validity in what they are parroting to those around them. When one reviews the annuls of history, the religious beliefs of the Founders can easily be seen. Afterall, the most orthodox and ardent believer among the principal figures urging freedom from the constraints of England and King George III was Samuel Adams, who with other Sons of Liberty dumped the tea into Boston Harbor. A stern Calvinist, he believed liberty was dependent on the moral and spiritual principles enunciated in the New Testament. In a letter to John Scollay in 1776 he wrote,

Can you see from this final visual example that with proper argument and reflection, a writer can easily dominate a writing, making his argument compelling and believable? Try adding more argument and reflection in your body paragraphs and see how much better they convince an audience.